Oh my heart the last few weeks! This feels like an uphill battle. But in all my questioning and confusion, it was clear to me that it’s a battle I shouldn’t ignore. And not just shouldn’t ignore but CAN’T ignore. I went to bed thinking about my babies and wondered what the world would look like for them when they grow up. It scared me honestly. Until I realized,“the world will look the way we tell them it looks.”
The world our children will live in, largely depends on us. From what we say to what we don’t say. Do we make it comfortable for them to ask questions or do we tip toe around the hard stuff?
I didn’t want to simply throw up a black square on my instagram and say “I’m muted so you can talk.” But instead I wanted to start the conversation- like a real conversation and get responses. “What can I do today to make the world a better place?” And the overwhelming response was “teach our children.” So while some are in the streets protesting, I’m vowing to protest from home. I’m doing it for my children and all God’s children. No matter what you believe, I think we can all agree that this world could look a whole lot better and a whole lot more loving.
Here’s How I’m Moving Forward:
I asked a beautiful black friend of mine “how can we change the way the next generation will think and act when it comes to race? I told her I don’t want my children to live in a world that displays so much hate and anger. And this is what she said:
“Don’t make it weird. I feel like it’s still weird in 2020 to have all colors in the home. Meaning, have black baby dolls in your home, read them stories with black characters, watch movies with them in it. This will show them that you love all colors of skin. Show them that it’s not taboo. Let them know we are different in color but love is love and you can love and appreciate everybody.”
It’s so important to pray but we have to put some action behind it. We have to solve the problem for our children and our children’s children. We have a huge responsibility in this. God made each and everyone of us for His glory. And I want to glorify that within these four walls.
Here are some books that we can buy our children to bridge the gap more and more.
This week Neil went back to work and so did I! A stay at home mom IS work, am I right mama’s? Some of you even found that out first hand these last few months.
The day after Scarlett was born the whole world shut down and I had my husband home with me til now! I have to be honest, I was absolutely petrified last week for him to go back. I remember when I had Silas I was so overwhelmed. So now, even just thinking of what it would be like with a new born, a 2 year old and a 6 year old all by myself scared me to death. And while I was blessed to have Neil home the last 3 months, in some ways it made me even more fearful to do this job.
But here is what I knew…I knew I had to do 3 things before I went into this to be successful. One, I needed to wake up this first week with a straightened home so I didn’t start the day off feeling out of sorts. Secondly, I needed to start my day early before the kids woke up to have my coffee, listen to worship music and talk to God alone. (Starting the day calm and peaceful would make all the difference.) And third, I needed to find our “rhythm”.
Spoiler Alert: I did!
What We Did:
I know how hard it can be finding a schedule that works, so I wanted to share what worked for us. Of course it won’t work for everyone but I know lots of mom’s looking for ways to do their day- especially when there is more then one child.
A day in the life:
7 AM wake, coffee and quiet time for me.
8 AM Kids up- breakfast for them while I tackle my daily chore (whether it’s laundry day, bathroom day, dust day etc I like to break it up)
8:30 AM Let them watch a show and I get ready for the day and get out what they need to get them ready
9:30 AM Get everyone else ready
10/10:30 AM Get outside- whether a walk and the library or time at the pool- we just had to get out! The day it rained I made them change their scenery and play in the basement with all those toys they forget sometimes forget they have.
12/12:30 PM Come home and have lunch and a little screen time
1/1:30 PM Silas down for his nap while Jameson has the rest of his screen time for the day. (This is where I tackle anything I want to do)
4 PM After nap, a little play time while I prep dinner
5 PM Dinner Time
6 PM After dinner, back outside for an hour
7 PM The boys in for fun time in the tub while I clean up anything left from dinner and get PJ’s and Bottle ready
8 PM Silas bottle and bedtime routine and Jameson has snack and TV time and then bed for him an hour later
**By the way, Scarlett was basically strapped to me in the Baby Bjorn most of the day unless she was eating, in her swing or sleeping. That thing is a lifesaver! I’m not sure i’d get much done without it.
So there it is…Hopefully you can use this to shape your day in a way that works for you.
Anyway guys, I couldn’t believe I did it. In finding my rhythm, I found even more of myself. I found that what I once feared was actually something that empowered me. After that first day, I texted my mom and sister and said “I was so scared to do this alone but I killed it! I feel so accomplished!”
What God Taught Me:
God reminded me through this experience that challenges have the ability to change us and make us better. I’ve read the verse a million times in the book of James about this but sometimes we need to live it out many times before it sticks. It’s never easy to consider anything hard as joyful but we should. The verse reads:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
So ladies, here’s to the next time we have something challenging to face! That we always remember God will use it to make us braver, stronger, better and most importantly, more complete.
The day you were born was the cherry on top of everything I ever wanted.
Your dad yelled “it’s a girl” in that hospital room and all I could do was cry out, “my girl, my girl, I got my girl!” They laid you on my chest and tears rolled down to my ears as I repeated “everything’s ok, it’s your mommy.”
Sweet Scarlett, every woman dreams of having a little girl. You’ll see. In the moment we touched I felt so many of my most precious dreams come true. Dressing you in pink with bows. Painting your nails. Talking about boys. Getting you ready for prom. Putting that veil in your pretty hair. And then one day holding your precious baby in my arms.
You are an answered prayer.
Just like I told your brother, there are some things I want you to know…
First, I want you to know that you have one incredible daddy. I knew very early on when I met him that I’d be the luckiest person in the world to have him as my life partner and that my babies would be just as lucky to have him as a dad. Just wait, you’ll see. He will do anything to protect you, make you smile and make you understand that you are his LIFE. You should have seen his face when he yelled “It’s a girl.” I’m excited to watch him hold you, make you giggle, play in the backyard with you and show you how a man should love a woman.
Secondly, I want you to know that you have two brothers and two sisters that love you and will show you the way too. They were so excited to meet you. Both of your brothers have kissed my belly to show you and tell you how much they love you before you were even here. And your sisters, they are a little older but they love to hold you, kiss you and dress you. Ava already got you the cutest little dress. You will be receiving lots of cuddles and kisses from them in this lifetime. You’re very lucky.
Next, you have amazing grandparents that have lived for this day. The joy you bring to their lives just by being born is something they’ve long awaited. They want to give you everything you want. The joy they see in mine and daddy’s eyes when we look at you is the best part for them. They prayed for me and your dad to have you. Seeing their babies have babies is what they’ve long for as time has gone by. You’re a dream come true for them too.
Also, you have some awesome aunts and uncles. They are so excited to see your dad and I fall in love with you. Just wait, watching your brother and sister have a baby is a pretty amazing thing and because they love us so much, they love you more than you can imagine. They were excited to find out you were a girl because they knew you were the last piece of the puzzle to our family. If some day your dad and mom aren’t around, you will enjoy just being in their presence because they will remind you so much of us. They will tell you stories about us that will make you laugh and you’ll know mommy and daddy even more because of them.
And here it goes, I love you. The word love doesn’t seem like enough when I say how I feel about you. I carried you for 9 months and felt your little feet move all around day in and day out. And now I sit with you in the morning and thank God for what He has done. It brings me to tears. You are perfection to me and the love I have for you is beyond explainable. When you fall in love, take that feeling and multiply it by 1000. That is what I felt when you entered my world. I’m telling you all this because you need to know how important you are and how loved you are and how WORTHY of love you are. That is the magnificence of YOU. There will be people that may tell you or treat you otherwise in this life but you remember this letter and let these words sink deep down in your heart. People are people. And people make mistakes. They hurt others and they will hurt you too. But learn how to forgive quickly because they may never know the love that you will know.
Also, I want you to remember something. Bad things happen here every day. And it’s true there are bad people. But there’s so much more to it. Some people might try to make you believe that everything and everyone is bad. But it’s not true. Trust me when I tell you, I’ve seen both. And life is good. Really good. But you have to choose the good. Choose to do good, see the good and most importantly be the good. Life is as fragile as it is precious. So I want you to live a life that shows others the goodness that is here. I want you to show them love. All the love you receive I want you to give it out times ten. I want people to know love because they know you. And when someone is unkind, show them love anyway. You’ll be stronger for it even if it doesn’t feel like it at first. The only thing we really have in this world is love. And the only thing we will have when we go is that love.
But even greater than all the love I wrote about, there is a love so much bigger. It’s the greatest love of all. It’s a love that never makes mistakes. A love that is patient with you and always kind. There’s a love out there that never leaves you abandoned or alone. There is a love that no matter how bad you mess up, you can never be separated from this love. It’s a love that is incomprehensible but it can be known and felt and breaks every chain and struggle that the world presents. This love has a name and it’s name is Jesus. He died so you can live the life that mommy and daddy pray for you to live. I can’t wait to tell you all about Him. He is my everything.
There’s a verse in Psalms (verse 37:40) that says “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” And little girl, that is truly the reason you are here. I’ve delighted myself in the Lord no matter the hard days or good ones and for that I know, God gave me you, my cherry on top.