I Wish My Husband…

You don’t know how many times I have heard women say that to me. And to be honest, I’ve had those same thoughts about Neil with things.

“I wish he would do this more, “I wish he would do that…”

But man, isn’t that exactly where the devil wants our thoughts? Focusing on their weaknesses instead of all the reasons you love him? Satan hates marriage! He wages war against yours and mine. The reason he goes so hard at them is because he knows it breaks up the picture of Christ and the church. Marriages were created by God to be a picture on earth of how Christ loves the church. The church being the bride and Christ being our husband. If satan can destroy the picture of how much God loves us, he claims a pretty big victory.

Ephesians 5:32-33 “This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”

“Honor” doesn’t look like us wishing our husbands were different then they are or like someone else. I just imagine how hurt I’d be if I knew my husband thought “I wish Jill were more like her.” That thought lacks love, respect and honor. Jesus doesn’t wish we were someone else. He instead takes quiet and loving action in pursuit of us.

But how?

Luckily, the Bible is very clear. I’ve had women message me saying things like “I want my husband to be more in the Word, but he just isn’t there.” “I wish my husband would want to go to church. He just doesn’t.” “My husband won’t tithe and I know we should be, what do I do?” These nagging questions about our marriages are plenty. And you aren’t alone. But we have to be sure we don’t let these things destroy our marriages either. That’s not what God wants for us or his kingdom.

If your husband isn’t willing in an area and God hasn’t convicted him yet of the issue, then it’s not our jobs as wives to push our husbands to do anything. We are not to nag our husbands, we are to honor them like the verse says. But we are also to live by example. “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” So keep doing the very thing you want your husband to do (be that example), then pray for your husband without ceasing, and watch God work!

It may take months or maybe even years, but GOD WILL WORK! Remember His timing is so much different than ours and always perfect. He is working on us the same time He is working on them. When you do this, you are also becoming more like Jesus.

Pray!

Lord,

Today we pray for our husbands and their relationship with you. In Matthew 6:33 you said “Seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will be added.” So we know once they have that figured out, then everything else will be too. We pray you set a fire deep down in their hearts for you. That they crave your presence. And that they thirst for your knowledge. We ask specifically in the area of ________ that you will convict their spirit. I also ask for you to help me as a wife to honor my husband and be strong enough to lead by example. Keep mine and my husbands thoughts about our marriage far from the devil. Protect our marriage and be our cord of three, so that it will never be broken. We ask this in your mighty and precious name.

Amen


Standing Firm is a Life Lived on Your Knees

“For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” -Matthew 23:12

God’s kingdom is upside down.  It’s the literal opposite reflection of what the world says.  The world says “be proud” and God’s kingdom says “be humble.” It says “get even” when God says “turn the other cheek.”  Or how about “stand up and fight” when meanwhile God says “humility, meekness and longsuffering” (Colossians 3:12.)  And probably one of the most prevalent for women is that the world says “beauty is what is seen” when God says it’s “the good things we do” that makes us attractive (1 Tim 2:10.)

Standing in the World Instead of Kneeling to the Word

For far too long, I’ve lived my life standing on my own two feet.  In moments I do take to my knees but I never stay there too long.  I don’t trust it enough there.  I don’t trust HIM enough to stay there.  It’s just that I want some control because I don’t have enough faith to believe that God is good all the time. I say it and I know it, but deep down I haven’t completely believed it. I haven’t humbled myself enough to believe that “apart from Him, I can do nothing.” John 15:5

The truth is, when I’m on my own two feet, it takes much less to knock me down. I’m easily offended and easily angered. I am more insecure and unsure because I’m relying all on myself. When I’m standing on my own two feet, things can take me out at the knees. This is not just physically true but spiritually true too.  When I come up with my own grand plan, thought or idea and it doesn’t work or someone says something negative about it, I crawl into a negative place of fear, insecurity and defensiveness.

But when I’m living on my knees and life tries to take me out, it can’t because I’m rooted. I’m in a position of humility, surrender and trust. I am rooted because I’m not depending on “self” anymore.  I’m dependent on God’s foundation of truth and love and wisdom and no longer depending on my own ideas. I depend on His. And when I depend on His ways, I know the outcome is His.  It’s all in His hands, not mine. And that changes everything.  That leads me into a life of ease with peace in my heart. He says “my yoke is easy and my burden is light” in Matthew 11:30.  And it truly is. Yet we often insist on not trusting that.

Bottom Line

God’s upside down kingdom has shown me lately that standing firm in the Christian life is really a life lived kneeling in surrender.  And that humbling myself will lead to being exalted.  I’m done with exalting myself.  I’m done with trusting in myself.  I’ve been taken out at the knees far too many times. I want to live my life in full surrender to the one I am in absolute awe of. He deserves it all.  All of me.  It’s all for His glory.

Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” Psalm 115:1

Prayer

So if this is you too, I invite you to say this prayer with me:

Lord, I’m done fighting this fight of life on my own two feet. I’m done relying on myself for responses and ideas on what life should look like for me.  In my marriage, health, kids, home, and career, I’ve often stood proud fighting the fight alone instead of on my knees asking you how to do it and what you want it to look like. I’m sorry for not humbling myself enough to trust you.  And I am sorry that I haven’t always believed that you are good all the time because if I did I’d always do it your way.  Keep me on my knees.  Humble me.  And enable me to live a life in full surrender to you, trusting you always. I want all the glory to belong to you from here on out.  I know this is your will and you will see it through in me.  Thank you for this. In your amazing, holy, holy, HOLY name I pray. Amen.

 

 

 

 

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New Year, New Goals

So many people start off the new year by setting goals. Whether it’s a weight goal, a financial goal, or a business goal, we all have goals in mind, right?
But my sister sent me a picture the other day of a woman we both follow on Instagram named Lindsay Matway (she’s an influencer who has done well at a young age.)  She typically does a Vision board each year and posts it. Ya know, one those boards that you make and you cut out pictures from magazines to visualize your goals? But instead this year, she held up her vision board and the only thing it said was “God’s Vision.” That was her goal. It was pretty powerful considering that every year I’ve seen this business woman set massive business goals on her vision board and attain them.
It was powerful to me because the board that usually held so many freshly and worldly desires, now held a spiritual desire. It let go of everything SHE wanted and handed it all over to what GOD wanted for her.
This is not an easy thing to do for anyone. But especially for someone who knows that they have literally envisioned a mansion and the next year it was theirs. I mean, that is this girls story!
I say all that because this year I started this YouTube channel with one goal in mind: Making God a part of everything. From clothes, to home, to kids, to marriage… all of it! And when I sat down on January 1st to make my “word of the year,” God was so clear that mine wasn’t a word. It was a phrase. And it’s this: “Remain in Me.” He repeated the words so many times. First, in my Bible as I was reading. Then when I watched a sermon. When I prayed. It was constant. That was where my focus needed to be and I was super excited about it.
I thought: Yes God! If I just remain in You, You will prune me and make me fruitful.
John 15:4 says “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. … “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
I knew that everything I attained without God really meant nothing. I’ve experienced that. Sure, it gave me short term happiness, but that’s about it. I know though that thus far, everything I’ve experienced with God, have been the things that have had impact. I don’t mean little impact, I mean like kingdom impact. Where what I’ve attained with God changes not just my own life but the lives of many. And that’s the kind of impact God wants to make through me and YOU!
So seeing that picture my sent me just a few days after God giving me my goal to “remain in Him”, it was like a sweet wink from heaven.
Guys, we must give up our fleshly desires because the impact that we can have outside of those are so much bigger. They are more rewarding and they have eternal satisfaction as opposed to temporary happiness.
So this year as we think of our goals, let’s make sure we ask God if that’s what he wants for us. I pray that everything we do this year whether as moms, a wives, girlfriends, friends, business women etc.. that we do it with a kingdom mindset.
P.S.  One more encouragement: one of the biggest things we learned in 2020 was that we are not in control.  There were so many goals set  that could not be accomplished, yet again reminding us that not everything is in our hands.  So when we ask God what path He wants us to take, the circumstances in the world have no effect on the goals God gives us.
XOXO,
Jill Rohrbaugh