The 4 Ways to Make Yourself Beautiful (it’s not what you think)

This isn’t a beauty tutorial or a post selling you products.  It’s the hard stuff….

It’s not make-up or shiny things- all that is easy.  It’s the REAL stuff…

“Don’t be concerned with outward appearance like hair, jewelry and clothes. Instead be concerned with the beauty from within, that of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious in the sight of God.  This is how women of the past made themselves beautiful.  They trusted God and submitted to the authority of their husbands.” 1 Peter 3:3

  1. Don’t be concerned with outward beauty.

Stay with me here, as I too am one that struggles with this one.  It’s the complete opposite of what floods our TV’s, social media and mailboxes, right?  But it’s the EXACT thing that haunts us women.  When we are so concerned with outward beauty we start to focus on what we define (along with the world) as beautiful and we become professionals at pointing out our flaws. Now tell me, how beautiful is it when we tell God what he did wrong when he created us. How hard must it be for Him when he sees we become irritated, sad and even depressed over HIS creation!? And it doesn’t stop there. When we are so focused on our flaws and “fixing” them or making them “better” it can get REAL ugly!!

Our vainness can’t be hidden even when we think we are doing a great job at keeping it under wraps. When our hair doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would, our weight went up 5 pounds and the dress we bought just doesn’t look the way we imagined, ask our families how we act. Are we still kind and do we radiate happiness?  And then there’s the comparison trap which can literally take us down a rabbit hole of negatives and, before we know it, we tell ourselves we will never measure up and wind up having anxiety issues over it (this is a real thing that is being medically proven daily.)

Now do you see why being concerned with our outward appearance is the opposite of beautiful? Can someone preach this to me daily!? Cause the good Lord knows I need it!

2.  Have a gentle and quiet spirit.

Anyone that knows me will tell you that Jill and “quiet” rarely go together. But thank goodness that the Holy Spirit is in the business of transformation! This has been my prayer lately. I know between my willingness to change along with the power of the Holy Spirit, I can become a gentle and quiet spirit.  Did you know that teachers are told to speak quietly when the kids are talking and not listening? This actually makes the kids quiet there voices to hear what the teacher has to say.  I have done the opposite my whole life. But who doesn’t want to be precious in the sight of God and if being gentle and quiet makes me precious in His sight then BRING ON THE CHANGE! (oops that was me being loud again, lol)

Can I share something interesting with you? Ever since I started praying for this transformation, I have heard myself louder then ever.  I literally have heard my tone and volume level like I never have before. It has caused me to change my tone in a moments time. I’ve seen the small victories and I love watching the Holy Spirit “do his thing!”

3. Trust God

Oh baby that’s a hard one for me! But boy is it beautiful when I do and see other people do the same.  It’s the most beautiful of all. I’ve always loved the verse in Proverbs about “she is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” I mean, can you picture that woman? How awesome it must be to be in her presence. Just so strong and dignified, smiling at whatever is ahead! For me, in my spiritual maturity, that far outweighs the picture of “she is clothed in Chanel and diamonds and laughs with all the mean girls that surround her.”  Having this strength and dignity and trust in God that she can just laugh at the future because she is so grounded in WHO GOD SAYS SHE IS. This is a REAL picture of beauty. God please make me into this woman!

4. Submit to the authority of your husband.

Don’t stop reading…lol.  This one was a hard one for me to swallow the first hundred times I heard it too. But when it was finally explained (and then of course I tested it out) I finally “got it.” Trust me when I tell you I’m still trying to get this right in my own marriage.  Let me see if I can explain this in a way that will have you shaking your head “yes” instead of closing out of the post lol.

If you picture a business ladder starting at the top and go from there, that is how this ladder works as well. God is President of the company, husband is the Vice President, Wife is the Boss and children are the interns.  If a husband (“Vice President” of the household), directly aligns himself under God (The President of the household) to make all the decisions, then the wife (“The Boss”- who supports both President and Vice) would trust all the decisions her husband makes because she knows he reports directly to God, and then in turn, she can tell her children (The “Interns”-who will one day be Vice Presidents or Boss’s of their own homes) how to live.  This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to marry a Godly man instead of trying to “make them” or “change them” into being believers. Men are wired to lead as well as be respected. So when a woman tries to lead a man, he feels nagged and disrespected. I don’t care how soft spoken your man is, he will still underneath it all despise the way you make him feel and one day you will know about it.  And now you’re saying “well Jill, I didn’t marry a Godly man- now what?”  You, as a Godly woman, are still expected and commanded by God’s Word to submit to your husband. That husband of yours still wants your honor, respect and to feel like he is the man of the household. And when you do this, the likely hood of God winning him over has made the percentages go WAY UP! God knew a lot of women would deal with this. SO much so that he put instructions in the Bible for wives with unbelieving husbands on what to do (and funny enough he didn’t put it the other way around for husbands with unbelieving wives.) 1 Peter 3:1 “Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. Even if they refuse to obey the good news, your godly lives will speak to them WITHOUT word. And they will be won over!” 1 Peter 3:1.

We all say we want these Godly, strong, spiritual leaders but are we giving them the respect and honor that a spiritual leader deserves? We might not be able to change them but we can change the way we treat them!  And the old saying “‘treat them as you want them to be, not as they are” holds a promise in the Bible that they will one day be won over! And remember to be patient with him, think about how hard it is to change yourself.

Now let’s get to how this makes us more beautiful.

Having honor and respect for a man who has your best interest in mind, leads to a beautiful marriage, that raises up beautiful children, who then go on to leave a similar legacy that has been modeled for them.  Have you ever heard of anything more beautiful then this? Especially in a world full of divorce, betrayal and unfaithfulness?

Today, my prayer for us women is to become the most beautiful, best versions of ourselves by embodying these four ways that are the opposite of what the world calls beautiful. You want to stand out in beauty? So do I! So let’s do beauty God’s way. Let’s put an imprint on the world! We are the future. Our daughters are the future. It starts with us to be the change. I believe in us!



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