The Necessity of Boundaries: Do You Know Yours?

If you follow me on Instagram or any other social media, you know that I was in NYC for my sweet little sisters bachelorette party this past weekend.  We’ve been planning this for months now and we all knew we wanted it to be a memorable and fun time away with all the women she loves most.

When I found out it was going to be a 4 day trip though, I felt a nudge in my spirit telling me “that’s too long for you Jill.” You see, I used to live life with no boundaries at all! I didn’t put boundaries on how late I’d stay out, or on who I’d date, or on how much I drank etc. I pretty much lived “free!” (Or what I had thought was free!) What I didn’t realize at the time was that the type of freedom I was living came with a terrible price to pay!

Without boundaries in my life, I was in serious danger.

So knowing who I am now and where I struggled in the past, I’ve learned what my boundaries are and where to practice them. For example, I love life and love to enjoy it. I love the fun times but if I’m not careful “fun” for me can turn into “regret.” Since I know this about myself, I knew that a 4 day trip for me could turn into trouble.

You know that saying, “if you hang around the barbershop long enough, you are going to get a haircut?” Well that couldn’t be truer for me in this type of situation.  So I decided I’d go to New York for two and a half days instead of 4.  I knew I’d have the strength for two nights to say “no” to drinking too much but the 3rd night of being out til the wee hours of the morning would wear me down and I’d give in.  I read in the bible “do not get drunk on wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit.” I believe Jesus wants his love and presence to fulfill us and don’t let anything take it’s place.

I like waking up filled with peace and joy.  And I don’t want to allow anything to take that away from me. I want to be all who God made me to be. I want to be a light for His glory and being drunk and argumentative is no longer an option if I want to be that person.

Everyone has different boundaries.  And you should know what yours are. People aren’t always going to like your boundaries but eventually, if you stand firm in them, the ones who really love you will accept them, love them and even better, love you for them.  And the ones who don’t were never meant to be there!

Let me close by saying this: I must admit, it’s not easy to set boundaries and be true to them but its reward is SO great! I know from my past experiences what I escaped this weekend by standing firm in the boundary I placed. I escaped all the ways I could have hurt myself and hurt others.  I escaped regrets, possible arguments, and temptation.  But most importantly, I escaped losing the person God made me to be.  And for this lesson, that came only by way of Him,  I’m forever grateful.

Do you need help setting boundaries?  Below-Please let me know if I can help or even just be a friend to pray about it with you!






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