Mama, is life happening “to you” or “for you”?

Let me start by saying this post comes out of my own real life situation. After two weeks of my husband being home for Christmas break and having an adult walk around and witness my days, shed major light on what was once complete ignorance.  He never said a word for me come to this conclusion. It was just his mere presence that allowed me to see that I was letting my life happen to me instead of for me.

Mama’s maybe you can relate?

Being a mama (and especially a stay at home one) often feels like we are just “waiting.”  Waiting to make the next meal. Waiting to change the next diaper. Waiting for the next naptime. Of course there are times we set up crayons, or build blocks or if it’s warm enough maybe take a walk or even go on a play date. But let’s face it, with little ones, the majority of the time is spent counting down the minutes to stay on their schedule.

So with my husband home, those first couple of days I would wait around for naptime and be so excited for what we were going to do once the baby was down. Finally, an adult to hang out with! Naptime would come and he would have plans in his own head of what he was doing. Whether it was playing PlayStation with Jameson or putting together all the new toys or just taking some downtime for himself from doing work around the house that he doesn’t normally get to. He was living his life and doing what he had in mind. And there I sat, scrolling on my phone- waiting.

By the 5th day or so of this I had a light bulb moment.  But before the light bulb moment came the annoyed, disappointed, victim moment. Why isn’t he asking me to do something? Why am I just sitting around waiting for the baby all the time? This sucks!  

Then ding! There went the light.  Why aren’t you creating your day? Why aren’t you voicing your desires? How is he supposed to know you want to do something? Why are you waiting instead of doing something that you’d like to do?  And on the days he’s been at work, why aren’t you creating a schedule you love?

Mama,” the little voice said, “why are you letting life happen to you instead of for you?”

When I think of what I was allowing to happen, this verse came to mind- “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest.” John 10:10

Oh that thief was stealing my peace, destroying my day and killing my joy! I was in no way living life to the fullest.

Guys! God wants us to be great moms and He also wants our lives to be fulfilling!

So here is my advice from what I learned during this tough little lesson:

  1. Pull out your planner before you go to bed each night and plan your day.  Be intentional about play time with your little ones and also their nap and meal schedules. But between all the other times, plan YOUR day.  Set them up with something or let them have their independent play around the times you have YOUR scheduled plans.  I have done this the past two weeks and recognize that my life as a mom is more fulfilling and my kids are more fulfilled because I’m being super intentional with our one on one time.
  2.  Have intentional “unplugged times” and intentional “scrolling time.” If you don’t set these times up you may lose your day!
  3.  Set alarms to check in with God.  3 times throughout the day, ask Him how you are doing and if this is how He wants your day to look.  He is the best accountability partner.

I hope this helps in your mom journey.  I hope that your days are more fulfilled and you see your life happening for you instead of to you after implementing this advice. Let me know how it goes!

As usual, stay fabulous, but recognize our flaws so we can always, always, always, see our need for Christ.


Jill Rohrbaugh




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