There was no other title to choose for this post. Every time I thought of the topic, I heard this Bob Marley song in my head.
If you know me or read my blog, you know that a weakness of mine is worry/fear. The ironic thing about that is I have an unusually positive outlook on life. I believe in miracles, sunshine, unicorns, that “everything happens for a reason” and so on. But that doesn’t stop the devil. He knows exactly where he can sink his teeth in and he has found that worry is where he can with me.
Maybe it’s because of a traumatic past that worry and fear can sometimes overwhelm me. Maybe it’s just my genetics, or maybe it’s both? Either way it exists. And what bothers me is that I know better! I know God tells us “do not fear.” I know He tells us that He is in control. But slowly that fear finds its way to creep back in and wreak havoc in my spiritual life, work life and home life. Anyone else?
But now I’m getting to a point that I’m DONE with it. I’m sick of myself. I’m getting to a point that it’s no longer excusable and I realize I’m choosing to sin when there is absolutely another choice. I can choose love or I can choose fear. And every time I choose fear, no matter what my past has looked like or what someone has done to me that it’s an excuse and I am still choosing to sin. I could laugh at the fear thoughts but instead I grab them and hold onto it with all I’ve got. I ponder it for hours and think of the “what if’s.” What kind of life is that?
God never meant for us to live in a prison of our thoughts. He said “I leave you peace, my peace I give you.” He came in human form to leave us with the peace of eternity and told us not to fear this world or “mere mortals.” And yet every time I fear, I take away what He has done for me! In those moments, I’m not accepting Jesus! That is NOT the example or life of a Christ follower. When we follow the Lord, our “yolk is supposed to be easy and our burdens light.” Being a living example of that faith shows the world how we live, think and react differently as believers. Living that way can single-handedly bring someone to commit their life to the Lord and ultimately lead them to heaven.
I realize in this very moment that I should trust life. Not because life or people deserve my trust but because I trust in a God that no matter what happens “every little thing is gonna be alright” with Him by my side.
It’s a new year. I repent for not living my life that way. But I swear this year I will. I will choose love. I’ll choose to laugh at the what if’s. No matter how long it takes me, I will find a way! He left me with His peace and I’m accepting it. I’m praying for everyone with this struggle that we find strength in His promises instead of finding logic in the fear. I’m praying that we see ourselves as daily resting in the palm of his hand.