When Silas was first born I was neurotic to say the least. Looking back, I probably had a bit of postpartum blues and my anxiety was through the roof! I worried about EVERYTHING. Trust me, my husband has some stories. “Is his room too hot? Oh no, now I think it’s too cold. Should we get him warmer pajamas? I think he’s too hot in those PJ’s.” Poor Neil! I had some crazy moments but that is the life of a first time mom! So when you’re feeling like a bit of a wreck, know that you are normal and then take these three tips I learned for your second time around.
1.) Let them fall-
“A child who has not been bandaged has not been well parented.” – Dr. Benjamin Spock
It is completely normal for your kids to get bumps and bruises!
When Silas fell the first time, I felt SO AWFUL. I thought I was a horrible parent and a failure. “I should have been there.” As I’ve grown and had a second baby, I recognize that those little bumps and bruises are lessons learned. And as they get older we need to let them experience the bumps and bruises of life too!
Here’s a mom tip: when they get hurt have some “boo boo buddy” ice packs on hand. For some reason those little buddies make them feel a little better just at the sight of them. I linked them here.
2.) Refrain from doing what your kids can do for themselves. I know how hard that is, especially when it’s just easier to do it yourself and even easier when there’s a time restraint. But I have watched Silas become a truly independent 2 year old because I follow this rule. I must warn you, the result isn’t always perfect but “praise the effort, not the outcome.” And as we do this, I truly believe we will feel ready to let them fly when it comes time.
3.) God loves them more than you do-
I literally couldn’t sleep at night for the first 9 months of Silas’ life. I stared at the monitor constantly. But the one phrase that changed it all for me was “Jill, God loves Silas even more than you do.” And every night after that, I would repeat that to myself. Then when I had Scarlett I fully trusted her into Gods hands. Of course I had to do my part as a mom to keep her safe with things like “no blankets and pillows in the crib” and I check on her often when she is playing on the floor. But I’m not nearly as panicked as a mom because she was God’s long before she was mine.