Dirty Word?

Obedience- That word!  
A word I have always loathed.  It
always seemed to keep me in a box- at least in my mind. I was one of those
girls that didn’t like rules and felt no one should have authority over what I
say, think or do.  I was a free spirit
with the heart of a fighter.   Maybe
because of the abuse I endured in my romantic relationships.  But the more “freedom” I exercised and the
more fight I put up, the more I found I was hurting myself over and over AND

“Don’t tell me I have to leave the bar!”, “don’t tell me I’m
not having another!”, “don’t tell me not to dance like that!”.  I HATED being controlled or told what I could
or could not do.  But there I sat the
next day, hung over with an angry boyfriend and worst of all, the weight of
guilt on my shoulders not remembering how the night ended.

So what was I getting out of purposefully being so defiant
to any person I got close to?  I thought
I was winning.  I thought I was proving
that I was in control of myself.  But
there I was at 2am with no control of myself at all really!

Remember when you were a child and your parents said “don’t
run in the street!”?   As much as it was
giving you “boundaries” it was to love, guide and protect you!  If I had the same heart as a child as I did
as a young adult- I would have been run over by a car! 

So where does this fit in our adult lives?  God gave us commandments and he gives us
whispers throughout the day of what his will is for our life- not to hurt us
but to help us.  He loves us.  The same reason my parents said to stay out
of the street is the reason God gives us nudges to walk a certain path.  As I got to know my God and realized he
wanted nothing more than to protect me and lead me to the best place, I
understood that obeying him was my best option for this life.  I needed to see obedience as a “caring” word
rather than the dirty word I had always perceived it to be. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am human and still have my days
where I’m not always obedient and question God. 
But then I feel the consequence of my disobedience and it only
strengthens me to be a better woman.   

Psalm 128:1 says “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who
walk in obedience to him.”  My obedience
has blessed me.  The funny thing is, in
my days of disobedience I was searching for freedom, but I’ve learned the more
obedient I am, the more the Lord entrusts me with. And the freedom I was in search
for has been given to me times ten!

So with that said… “Be blessed, be obedient.”
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